I didn't mean to
by RosaKei
Summary: Eren and Mikasa had a fight. The two reflect on their actions and emotions before they meet again, and hopefully reconcile and understand the other's emotion and reasoning better.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer : I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin / Attack on Titan , nor its characters.**

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Eren Jaeger and Mikasa Ackerman. Both soldiers of which had their own strengths, their own weaknesses, their own flaws, their own things that they stress and worry about.

Mikasa Ackerman in particular had seemed to be worrying about a certain brunette more than usual lately, and she was being rather obvious about it. And of course, the brunette in particular was Eren Jaeger—who was having none of her so-called _'nonsense'_.

Recently, after discovering Eren was a titan shifter—and having been reunited with him after the trial, the raven had been overjoyed and relieved at their reunion, but was filled with concern and worry. Such negative feelings came about only because she had assumed they were treating Eren poorly and cruelly, which wasn't the case. The only reason why she would ever make such an assumption would be because after seeing Levi kick Eren ever-so ruthlessly, she didn't exactly expect the other members of his squad to be nice to him.

After their reunion, Eren was allowed to have some freedom and time to his own… a little though—the rest of said time was used for training and experimenting, in preparation for their next expedition outside the walls. And with that little time he was given, he decided to go catch up with his comrades.

However, as he did so, there would always be a certain Ackerman who wouldn't stop pestering and bothering him with her worrisome questions. At first, he didn't mind it much, but lately he found that Mikasa was babying him again, and naturally, he couldn't help but feel agitated. He didn't exactly enjoy being treated like a child, he knew how to stand on his two feet—he knew how to fight… and yet, at least to him _, Mikasa didn't seem to be aware of that fact._

 _And alas, one day, he just couldn't take it anymore._

"Eren, is there something wrong? Is there a problem?Are they treating you fi—"

"What's _your_ problem?" The brunette snapped, in a rather harsh, irritated and cold tone. And in that moment of infuriation, the last thing he felt was regret on what he was about to say next.

Mikasa hesitated for a moment, the angered look he was making… she could already tell what was going on in his brain. She never meant to baby him, she knew she could be… overprotective towards him but she _just couldn't help it_. She always felt indebted to him ever since that day, that day when he rescued her from those disgusting crooks who had planned to sell her life away to other sorts of revolting crooks. He had given her _another_ chance to live, another _'life'_. Not only that, but he also taught her how to fight. Till today, she still remembered the words that he spoke to her. It would always echo about.

' _If you lose, you die. If you win, you live. If you don't fight you cannot win.'_ Those were his words that sparked some sort of flame in her, a flame that could never be extinguished.

"What do you mean—"

"You know exactly what I mean! Stop treating me like a kid! I'm not your little brother or anything!" Eren yelled harshly, causing some eyes from others to fall onto them—having caught their unnecessary attention as the argument continued.

"Eren… I—"

"Shut up for a moment! You're being ridiculous Mikasa! I don't need you protecting me!"

As she heard those words, she remained silent as he had wished, looking away. She could feel the tensed atmosphere that now surrounded them, which only grew in tension as she noticed others staring at them now.

 _Was she really in the wrong?_

She knew she was being a little too worried about the brunette, but she was just scared of losing him again. She recalled that before, she thought Eren had passed away since Armin relayed the news of him having sacrificed his life for the blonde. She held absolute no hatred for the blonde, she would've done the same thing. She wanted to protect those dear to her after all. But when she heard of said news, she felt as if her whole world had shattered before her. Eventually, she managed to pick herself up. One of the reasons was that she remembered Eren's words… _to fight_ , and she knew if she died, she wouldn't be able to remember him.

Thinking about everything now, maybe she was being a little too protective of him recently. ' _Am I… just a pest in Eren's eyes?'_ She thought quietly. There was no denying it, he was right. He wasn't a kid anymore, he had grown, and grown stronger. Upon realizing this, she was about to apologise until Eren had cut her off.

"You're so annoying, I swear. I hate that part of you, so much." Eren spoke coldly.

Immediately, Mikasa looked up as his words echoed in her ears. That he hated _that_ part of her. _But which part was it? Was it every part? She didn't know._ She probably didn't want to know. But at that moment she felt the same thing about herself. She felt that it was her fault for getting into the mess that she was in currently with the brunette, she shouldn't have been worrying about him so much. She should have minded her own business… she should have backed off of him, then maybe he wouldn't be so mad at her. _But she couldn't and didn't, and she knew it was too late to take back her actions._

And before knowing it, tears started to cloud her vision once she met with the brunette's angered emerald orbs. Biting her lip, she finally managed to speak, "I'm… sorry. I-I have to... go…" She mumbled, and before the brunette could say another thing, she turned her back and ran off.

' _Ah… I shouldn't have been so… so…'_ Mikasa couldn't think of any words to describe her protectiveness other than annoying as Eren had mentioned. She was just so relieved he was alive, and safe. But, of course, she was worried for his well-being. After all, he was a titan shifter… and of course, not everyone would accept him for that with welcomed arms, if anything the people back at the trial wanted to dissect him. So, to trust others on ensuring his safety was difficult for her… gaining her trust wasn't easy after all.

As she ran away, she started to reflect on her recent actions. Eren was right, she should loosen up on him a little, she shouldn't be so annoying as he mentioned. _She… needed time to reflect, and fix her own flaws and mistakes._

 _And hopefully, she hoped that Eren wouldn't be so… angry at her like just now._

* * *

Meanwhile, the brunette stood there. After she had ran off, and after he had taken a few deep breaths, he immediately regretted his actions. He knew she wanted the best for him, to be safe… he just wished she would let him be independent... _he knew he couldn't rely on her forever_. _He didn't want to be a burden on her._ It was just _so irritating_ … or rather _, frustrating_ that she didn't care too much about her own self as compared to him. He wished she would just think about her own well-being… instead of his all the time. _But more than anything, he found it so frustrating that—_

Before he could go deeper into thought, he felt a grip on his shoulder, turning to see the blonde who apparently witnessed everything.

" _Aren't you going to go apologise?"_ Armin had asked, rhetorically, wearing a little frown. "You know it as well as I do, she didn't mean to be 'annoying' as you said."

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 _ **Author's notes: Sorry if this was terrible, it was written not too long ago and in 40 minutes if i remembered correctly. i would improve it but i lack the motivation to, it wasn't finished and this was where i left off. I will write th part 2 and hopefully it will be better! Till later.**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer : I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin / Attack on Titan , nor its characters.**

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" _Aren't you going to go apologise?"_ Armin had asked, rhetorically, wearing a little frown. "You know it as well as I do, she didn't mean to be _'annoying'_ as you said."

The brunette turned, and as expected he saw the blonde. Letting out a wearisome sigh, the brunette scratched the back of his head. "I don't know what you're talking about." The brunette muttered quietly, and as obstinate as he always was, he refused to admit the guilt that was filling his heart up. As the blonde heard his words, his frowned only worsened, as he proceeded to cross his arms, raising a brow. "You know exactly what I'm talking about." Armin responded, huffing out a sigh.

"I know you're angry at her for being so protective, but you have to understand, you're the last remaining thing that reminds her of home. Even if she isn't your ' _mother_ ' or ' _sister_ ' and you aren't her ' _kid_ ' or ' _younger brother_ ', you should know that _she holds you closely to her heart_." Armin explained, quoting a few words from the brunette which he had countlessly screamed at Mikasa whenever she would hover over him too much. Eren flinched slightly at Armin's words, knowing very well himself that what he was saying was pretty much true. From Mikasa's perspective of things, he could kind of get why she was always so worried… _but_ that's Mikasa's perspective, _not his_.

In _his_ perspective, he couldn't quite get why she was like that. He understood a little of her actions, that maybe she was protecting him since he gave her another chance of life back then, where she nearly got sold off by the criminals. But to him, it didn't mean much. It was just a humane and human thing to do, he just saved her from those wild animals that couldn't ever be considered human, at least from his perspective. And in his perspective, such an act need not be repaid.

"You know, that day probably isn't the only reason why she's like this." Armin added, breaking the brunette's thoughts, the brunette looking towards the blonde in confusion, not really understanding what he meant.

 _Was there really more to the reason of her overprotectiveness?_

" _Really_? Think about it, I saved her that day. She's just protecting… she's just over-protecting me as some sort of repayment. _ONLY ME_. She already saved me countless of times, it's getting irritating. If not for that reason, then why isn't she always hovering around you too?" Eren grumbled in response as he looked away.

"Because I'm not overly reckless." Armin murmured, receiving a glare from Eren as he spoke those words—though he was quick to ignore it. "She's not only just protecting or saving you, Eren. Back then, in the battlefield, Mikasa ran out of gas, so I gave her mine. I didn't mind dying then, because at least I wouldn't be a burden. But she didn't allow it. In fact, she snatched the blade right off my hands and threw it off the roof." He scoffed slightly, his eyes softening a little at that thought. Though Eren only frowned at Armin's words when hearing that he had planned to give up his life, and was about to make a comment about it, until the blonde spoke, "You see, in a way she protected me and of course, saved me." He sighed softly as he looked up to the brunette.

"How does that even relate to the topic in hand? And you shouldn't have giv—"

Armin was quick to cut him off as he spoke, "Because I wanted to remind you that you aren't the only one she goes around rescuing or protecting, you make it seem that way. Her world _doesn't always_ revolve around you if that is what you are thinking." Armin shrugged. "I will agree though, sometimes she does put close ones before herself. Is that what you're so irritated at?" He asked, noticing the silence from Eren which he took as a 'yes'.

"But Eren, you have to admit. You can be… reckless sometimes, well, more than an average soldier… you can also be impulsive, and sometimes have a lack of self-restraint—"

" _Get to the point_." The brunette groaned.

"With those three personality traits I have listed, it obviously will lead you to more trouble than an average soldier. For example, you got into a fight with Jean way too easily. Of course Mikasa will worry about you more, and given the fact you're a titan shifter now… she'll of course be more paranoid. Punishments for impulsiveness from a half-titan person won't be as 'lenient' than an average soldier. And a single mistake from you can cost your life at this point." Armin sighed. "And the shocking events only happened so recently, everyone's still a little uneasy."

"Then why aren't you hovering around me like Mikasa?" He asked bluntly.

"Because I'm not her, I'm my own person, Eren. I'm worried about you but personally you're kind of labelled as 'Humanity's last hope' now, I doubt they'd dispose of you. But Mikasa thinks otherwise, and after seeing you get kicked by Captain Levi has put her at unease." Armin explained as Eren covered his face with the palm of his hands, taking a few deep breathes.

"I just wish she wouldn't care for me so much, I don't want her to keep being dragged down in my mess." Eren explained with a groan. "And I hate her overprotectiveness because I don't want to keep relying on her, how can I do that? I would just be a burden. I don't want that. She should care more for herself... and it's just so irritating seeing that she doesn't care for herself as much as she should…" He mumbled.

"Well, do you care for her?" Armin asked, which the brunette unhesitatingly responded, "Of course, she can be annoying sometimes with that overprotective trait of hers but…"

" _But_?"

"I _do_ care for her, obviously. Why the question?" Eren asked hastily as the blonde shrugged with a response, "Just to check. And you know all those other things you said, about her that she should care more about herself?"

"Yeah?"

"You should tell her that, _now_. You are aware as much as I am that those words probably hurt her quite a _little_ too much."

* * *

 _Running, Running, Running away._ Mikasa found herself in the middle of the forest, though she didn't stray too far away from training grounds. The forest was a common place to train with their 3DMG gear, slicing bread on titan cut-outs. As ridiculous as that may sound, it was pretty much closest to the real thing and it was not that useless of a training, if anything it was useful.

But today, Mikasa was sure no cadets would be training in the forest. After all, the sky was darkening, not because it was turning night but rather, ominous dark clouds started to crowd around, signalling that rain would soon fall. Though, regardless of that, Mikasa still decided to stay within the forest to cool herself down, to think and reflect. Sitting down and against the tree, she closed her eyes as she began to sink into her thoughts.

' _Maybe I'm overreacting too much…'_ the raven thought quietly. After all, she should be used to this by now. Though, Eren was right. She understood he sought to be dependent away from her, but she feared that because of that, she may lose him.

It sounded rather silly, thinking about that now. Then again, Eren almost always attracted unwanted trouble. Even now, without asking or having an option, he was a titan shifter without a choice. It was trouble in a sense that Mikasa knew there would be more things weighing down on his shoulder, more burdens. She wanted to lift them all up if she could, but she knew majority of said burdens could only be lifted by the brunette himself, the independence which he sought for was required.

' _Maybe I am being too protective…'_ she thought, reflecting back on recent events. She had been pestering him way too much with the same concerned questions. It was obvious enough that Eren probably would've grown irritated eventually. And yet, she hadn't expected him to lash out that coldly.

Taking another deep breath, Mikasa attempted to look at things from _his_ perspective.

Thinking about it now, from his perspective, being protected almost all the time probably wasn't ideal at all. But she couldn't help it, it was just in her nature to protect those she loved. Eren want the only one who she wished to protect, there was Armin too, of course. But with his logical and strategical thinking, Mikasa knew he'd be fine… as for Eren and his 'known' impulsiveness and sometimes recklessness, Mikasa couldn't be too sure.

But, that didn't mean she saw him as weak. If anything, she saw the brunette as a strong male. And she knew eventually, his impulsiveness and recklessness would fade away, or at least decrease overtime. But for now, all she wanted was to just be by his side. In her eyes, Eren was always… 'running away', far away. And given Eren's current position, she had a grim feeling Eren wouldn't always be here. The thought of him being kidnapped now, thanks to his new powers, worried her.

But she knew with Eren's determined heart, that he could probably overcome any obstacle. And yet… _and yet she couldn't help but—_

Her thoughts were cut off as she heard a few rain drops pelting down and onto the ground. Biting her lip, she remained seated as she listened to the calming sounds of the rain. It always soothed her in a way, especially on days like this. She just hoped she wouldn't be questioned too much when she would come back drenched.

"Ahh…" She murmured to herself, her eyes opening as she her hands played around with her scarf. "I should apologise to Eren… I went overboard after all." She murmured quietly to herself, coming to a conclusion that she should lay off Eren's back, she didn't want to be annoying or seem like an unwanted pest. And more than anything, she didn't want to be a source that triggered his anger.

" _Mikasa?_ " A familiar voice called out, and almost immediately, Mikasa turned towards it, her eyes widening in shock at who she saw.

 _Eren. What was he doing out here?_

"Eren…" Mikasa mumbled as she immediately stood up and walked towards him with a concerned expression on her face as the rain began to pour more.

"Eren? What are you doing out here? It's raining you should get inside…" Mikasa muttered as Eren raised a brow.

'I could say the same for you…' Eren thought quietly as he scratched the back of his head awkwardly, even after him lashing out, she still showed concern. As he remembered Armin's words, he struggled to say what he told Armin. He didn't know why, and it was just frustrating. _Was he nervous to do so? Impossible_ , at least that's what he thought. He had been searching for her for quite a while, until a cadet told him that he saw Mikasa walking towards the forest despite it seeming like it were going to rain. And now that he found her, he didn't know what to say.

"I'm sorry…" Mikasa muttered, which caused the brunette to look up, his eyes narrowing slightly. 'Why is she apologising? After all, I was the one who lashed out…' Eren thought silently, as the raven continued, "I should just… back off, I know. It's just… I…I'm sorry for being over-protective… _I didn't mean to_ be so protective… I just…" The raven continued to struggle fitting words to use, she didn't want to mess up the apology, and she didn't want him to get mad again. Though before she could continue, Eren pulled her closely into a tight hug. "I know." He mumbled quietly. "You're shaking, Mikasa." He added, and it was only then did she realise her body was quivering, both in fright and the coldness that the rain brought that soon drenched her clothes, Eren's too.

It was rare, very, very rare for the brunette to show such affection. In fact, she couldn't remember the last time he had given her a hug. Either way, she was quick to melt into his arms as he embraced her. "I'm sorry, for earlier _, I didn't mean_ to yell..." Eren muttered quietly, and just as he was about to tell Mikasa what he had told Armin, she quickly shook her head and responded, "I know, I know what you mean." She mumbled as she looked up to the brunette, their eyes meeting and fixating onto one another. There was no need for an exchange of words, just like that they knew what the other meant. Plus, it had been a tiring day, and like any other soldiers, they require rest for the next wearisome training day, which was the next day.

"Let's get inside…" Eren mumbled, seeing as to Mikasa was quivering even more by the minute, he then placed his hand on her forehead, it was already starting to heat up. Sighing, he pulled away and bent down, signalling for her to get on. At first, she refused, not wanting to unnecessarily burden him. But after some persistence from Eren, she finally let the brunette piggyback her back to headquarters, once he reached, he proceeded to help her up to the infirmary, sitting her down as he passed a towel to her and a set of clothes to change into that he found in the back. "Go take a shower, before you get even sicker... when you're done I'll give you fever medicine or something." Eren grumbled, Mikasa giving a nod as she stood up, walking towards the shower which was conveniently next door. "And… take care of yourself more out there... I don't ever want you hurt." Eren added quietly as he fidgeted with the towel that he held for himself. Mikasa turned towards him at hearing his words, wearing a little smile on her face. " _I know, I will_." She reassured softly, "Be more careful out there… I don't ever want you hurt too…" She spoke softly, which Eren responded firmly, " _I know, I will_." Followed by a small smile. "… and you should take a shower too, the male's shower is only across this room." Mikasa added, which Eren nodded at.

Mikasa then walked off to take a shower before her fever could worsen anymore, so did Eren, before he would catch a fever too.

* * *

The following day, just as Eren was about to leave for training with Levi's squad, Armin pulled him to a corner. "Did you apologise?" Armin asked which Eren gave a nod, and a small smile, and just as the blonde was about to question him, he had walked off.

* * *

 _Eren Jaeger and Mikasa Ackerman. Both soldiers of which had their own strengths, their own weaknesses, their own flaws, their own things that they stress and worry about._

 _But despite those flaws, weaknesses and whatsoever sorts of arguments, it would never break the strong bond and relationship they shared. And after their reconciliation, that bond only grew, so did their understanding for one another._

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 ** _Author's Notes: Ehh hope this story was okay, i didn't plot/plan it much, it just came to my mind haha while i was in a writer's block for another SnK story I'm currently actually plotting haha... Anyways thank you for reading! Please leave a review, or even a request for me to write something!_**


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